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How To Teach My Child to be Obedient

December 10, 2011

How To Teach My Child to be Obedient

The most frequent comment of present day parents as well as teacher is “He doesn’t listen to me at one go,” and the most frequently asked question is “How can I teach my child to do what he is told”? Everybody, Teachers as well as Parents expect the answer to be simple and each one of them knows whatever methods are recommended must be followed day in and out, week in and week out, if it is to be effective but who has time for their own child and what about patience? Of course training him to be obedient is not for getting the job done or that errand done. An intelligent parent would like his child to grow into a happy and successful adult. With this in mind the following suggestions are offered as a means of achieving the desired change in attitude of the child.

1. Order: Try not to order your child to do things, ask him rather try using requesting tones like please, kindly etc. By using this approach, not only you get more done but you help the child to learn the habit of cooperation.

2. Demands: Make as few demands as possible but make it sure that they are carried out by the child. Children should be trained to obey and to be of help but this can be achieved by avoiding giving orders continually.

3. Bribery and coaxing: Never, never, never, say “I will give you a coin if you bring my purse from table.” This is bad become the child should learn that running errands is his own important contribution to the well being of the household. But if you bribe, you are training him to realize that he can bargain with you and this will certainly develop into a bad social practice. Also never ask a child to do something for some ones sake. This is an admission of weakness and is an unfair appeal to the Child sympathy. He will soon tire of it.

4. Mean what you say: Always try to follow-up on whether the Child does what he is told. If you ask him to do something and then do not bother to see that it is done, he will soon get into the habit of paying you no attention.
5. Keep your temper: The surest way to make your child ‘balky’ and for sullen is to lose your temper. Either he will lose his temper too or he will learn to hold grudge.

6. Expect the child to obey: When you ask your child to do something, behave as if you expect him to obey. Never let him get the impression that you expect him to do otherwise. If you expect cooperation you are more likely to get it.

7. Give the child suitable duties: From a very early age (around 2yrs+) a Child should be asked to undertake certain duties like put away his toys as he has finished playing. In this way he will develop a habit of responsibility which will make it easy for him to cooperate in more important duties, as he grows older.

8. Have the same general rules from day today: Nothing makes it so difficult for a child to learn good habits as to be faced with demands which change from day to day. If you are lax with your Child one-day and strict on the next, he will be confused and in consequence becomes more difficult to handle.

When your child is troublesome:
There are times when a Child is trouble some and disobedient. Before any action is taken look for the root cause of the trouble may be some unusual happening with him, or he is tired, or any other such thing. With an elder child in family possibly he is feeling insecure because of more attention being paid to the younger one. So once the cause is detected solution is already there. The parent will find it easier to be patient and will not act unwisely on the spur of the moment. The purpose of punishment should be to influence the Child to do right things.

Method of treatment:

Isolation: If a Child persists in behavior of which he knows you do not approve, putting him in a room by himself is a good treatment. No Child likes to be away from his family and playmates for long.

Spanking, strapping or slapping: These methods of punishment, should be used seldom and only as a last resort. If used frequently it will create resentment in the child, which in turn is apt to make it difficult for the Child to accept authority in later life.

Conclusion: Remember always your Child’s early years are very important because it is then that the foundation of his future is designed. Since you want him to be healthy, make sure he has the right kind of food, proper and regular ‘exercise, play and’ rest. How much he is mentally and emotionally healthy and able to meet the shocks and blows of life depends upon great deal upon how well you guide him through the pre-school years. It will take patience and understanding on your part to discourage ‘bad’ behavior without making him feel he is using your love and affection. This is bound to pay you priceless dividends—a sound mental and emotional character in your youngster.

By A Sharma
Ashok Memorial Public School


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